Searching the net for an old article on relationships i came across this question which was asked a lot of times in many forums. What really interested me were the comments that followed the article. Its like igniting a spark and soon the jungle is on fire. On topic its quite a debatable question isn’t it. Its something that cant be judged without being in an relationship. Many are undecided and leave it to the time that it actually happens to decide whether it worked for the relationship or not. If you do a quick search on the net for the above question, you will find interesting replies.

sex is the best part of a relationship!

No.You can get only mental/physical satisfaction through sex.Nothing more than that.Relationship is beyond sex.

In reality, in the real world of honesty and truth, sex is a very important part of a relationship. Prove me wrong on that one.

Sex is a very important part in a relationship as it allows the couple to become more open and comfortable around on another

Sex is something that you and your ”lover” can enjoy together not something that is very important.

Sex is an important part of a relationship but if it is or becomes the most important aspect then there is no ”real” relationship. It can be the ultimate expression of love between two people, a way to communicate feelings that are difficult to express in words. It’s pretty darn important for procreation - obvious exceptions being infertility or disability. I helps build closeness and intimacy, relieves stress, gives comfort. Sex differentiates a romantic relationship from a platonic relationship.

Love and sex are not the same thing; this is something some people never learn. Sex without love is just physical. Love without sex can be pure, spiritual and true. But sex with someone you love unequivocally, can be gentle and tender, hot and wild, comfortable or simply sublime.

And don’t ever forget that the most important sexual organ is the brain.

I would say yes, sex and sexual issue are very important. Crucial even. If sex was unimportant then cheating would also be considered unimportant. After sex, both partners’ brains release chemicals that make then feel happy and most importantly connected and in love. The effect is far stronger for women. Regular sex bonds a couple together. Needless to say this is far from the only thing bonding a couple. Any physical affection, cuddling, kisses, hugs, holding hands can have this effect as well as the connection from the shared experiences, conversations, similar interests etc. Sex will not always make or break a relationship but a terrible sex life (absent, violent, whatever) or a cheating partner can break a relationship. Sex is more important to some people than others. Some people prefer frequent sex, some people are once a week or even less often. These differences can cause problems. The key is compromise, sometimes you will be having sex that you aren’t fully in the mood for, sometimes you will want and go without, as long as one of you isn’t always giving way to the needs of the other you can work it out. Sex isn’t all there is to a great relationship but it is an important part.

In these days of cheap pornography and sexual perversion we are not made to realize the higher aspects of sex. It is reduced to a method of satisfying one’s physical drive rather than a deep spiritual and emotional bonding. Does heartfelt sex reflect love and tenderness? Yes it does. If you observe the mating of two sea anemone’s you cant help but realize the sanctity and sensitivity that they have for each other. It is a very impressive and beautiful sight. However we human beings, who are supposed to be evolved creatures, have largely forgotten the art and tender expression of sex.

Many consider sex as the most intimate aspect of a relationship. Many are in a relationship just for that. Sex can give pleasure and sex can break hearts. Sex can be really great for the relationship but it all depends on the individuals in the relationship. The intimate bond that it creates with your partner would surely have a long lasting effect on the relationship. But sex for fun doesn’t really result in an intimate and loving relationship.

People who think sex is the best part of relationship have probably not known how to enjoy other important aspects of the relationship. Such people should not be in a serious relationship. They more likely to cause hurt to their partner. And then there are those who believe sex is strictly a part of marriage. That leaves us to wonder if sex is strictly just a part of marriage then what is marriage? a license to have sex?

A successful relationship is like a mixed curry. Love, understanding, respect form the main ingredients. Throw in a bit of sex to spice up the taste!

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Having spent the entire day customizing the blog i finally completed installing new word press  theme. The site was screwed up almost the entire day due to this. Been a hard days work but i enjoyed it thoroughly. I am too tired to write about anything right now. Signing off. Its 4.16 am.

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While browsing through a mega mall i came across the men’s underwear section where many brands were displayed. Now buying a under garment is not a joke especially when in a mall where you have extra attentive salesman looking at you all the time. And i realized it in a very amusing way when i could not make a choice amongst the brands for 5 minutes (apparently its a long time for a salesman of an undergarment section)

“Sir can i help you?”

Huh?? You want to help me choose my underwear??

Yes sir?!

Ya sure go ahead and tell me what color will suit my personality!

Ever walked upto a salesman with an underwear in your hand and asked for the trial room?
Its fun.

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No matter what if you really want me to feel special u cal. but i have noticed lately you have changed a lot. my love 4 u, feelings of being, concern, carin, wantin 2 b wit u, talking, everything has faded. I cant be the same with you anymore. its over

It would seem the above quote is a message from a girl to her boyfriend who is fed up with their relationship due to the guys uncaring attitude. But in fact its not. Its a message that i got from one of my close friends who happens to be a girl when i was not able to call her yesterday. We are very close indeed. But when people start getting obsessed with individuals; this is what happens. The above message would have been appropriate if it was sent by my girlfriend. But strangely it came from my friend. I am not saying i don’t care about her. I do. She is very close to me. But like in any relationship its necessary to draw a line where friendship ends and where intimate relations and great expectations begin.

I do not know what people expect out of me. I do not understand the reason behind their expectations. I cant understand the reason behind such a strong worded message. Was it just because i was not able to talk to her yesterday? Or is it something else.
Relationships in my life are getting pretty difficult. I am having difficult time with almost everyone in my life. I wonder if its me who is to be blamed. So many people cant be wrong. Or is it that no one cares enough to understand my point of view? I am not a loner. I do have lots of friends. I like to socialize and i do whenever i get a chance to ( usually every evening!). I have close friends like the girl above who love me; and i love her too (as a friend). I have a girlfriend who is concerned about me. Then why is it that i am not able to make them understand my point of view. May be i should stop my personal ramblings here. But i am sure there are people out there like me who want to be understood.

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Expectations comes naturally to humans. Whether its from a daughter, son, boyfriend, girlfriend so on and so forth. What makes us expect so much from people we love? Whats makes us depend on them for comfort? May be the answer is too simple. May be its our nature that makes us think like that. A human brain is programmed to  be social. May be its the bond that we make with others around us that eventually leads us to expect things out of them. Ever thought how life would be if there were no expectations?

It would be really weird indeed. Personally i cant be in any relationship without some kind of expectations. Be it friendship or otherwise. There has to be some level of expectation which binds us together.  Its important to understand what are your expectations with any person in your life. And its equally important to understand the reason behind that expectation. If you end up expecting things from people that you yourself cant understand than how is it possible for the person from you are expecting these things; to understand it and acknowledge it.

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*Lights a smoke* *Listening to RHCP*

It has been a weird day. Had a argument with my girlfriend on something which i have been putting off since quite sometime. I am preparing for an important career examination. Been through 3 papers; with 1 more to go. But somehow for unknown reasons i have been putting it off and delaying it. Its been three months now. But something happened today. And i am glad for it. Had a argument with my girlfriend regarding it. She is really concerned about me and what i plan to do in life. As of now life seems to be going nowhere. But thanks to the discussion i am on my way to writing this exam next Wednesday. Who says fights have to be negative

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Ever promised your girlfriend that you will call up at 10 in the night and forgot to do that? Ever promised that you will do something for her and never did? Ever promised to meet her 7pm sharp and got late? These are everyday simple examples of how broken promises lead to broken hearts. These small things matter a lot in a relationship and can lead to a strained relationship in the future. Make a golden rule. If you cant keep a promise then don’t ever say it because once it becomes a habit it creates  problems and unnecessary heart breaks which can be avoided.

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Its so important to remember birthdays of your friends. Had a bad start already. Hmm… let me see, I have missed at least 2 birthdays till now in 2008. I surprisingly remembered a school friend’s birthday whom i have not seen since 10 years now. And boy was he surprised when i left him a Happy Birthday message in yahoo messenger!

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Everyone in a relationship goes through a time when its becomes next to impossible to handle the other person. It happens in every relation because no one is perfect. We tend to take things for granted and before we know it; it gets difficult talking to the person. Fights, misunderstanding and irrelevant arguments replace all the sweet talks. I am no expert in this, but from what i have experienced; its very important to keep personal ego’s aside when trying to talk to your husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend if you really want to fix a strained relationship. Its impossible to start talking all nice things all of a sudden after a big fight. There is really no need to do that. I personally believe its important to break the ice and someone has to take the first step. Let it be yourself. Its difficult. You will always ask yourself this question ‘why should I take the first step?’ As long as you don’t let this question bother you, you shall be fine.

A relation between two individuals is not just because of love. You might go into a relationship because of love but it takes more than just love to keep it going. It needs lot of understanding, patience and perseverance. Its easy to blame the other person and snap off ties but its very difficult to have enough patience to understand what the other person is going through. Be positive, be understanding, be sensitive to your partner’s feelings and love will do the rest and you will be back on track before you even realize it.

As someone rightly said

True love is totally unconditional

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Its a pretty interesting question and while browsing the net i came across some very interesting comments

Love and Hate is probably the most complex relationship of emotions that exists,. How can you love if you dont know what hate feels like, and how can you hate if you have never loved?

Love is so much closer to hate than you think.. You really have to work at love hate just happen

Just like what osho said in the video that i posted sometime ago, Love and hate are the two sides of the same coin. True indeed.

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