Been quite some time since i wrote anything. Past couple of months have been troublesome and very miserable. The reason? Well its right there in the title.

What do you when one fine day after 4 years of serious relationship your girlfriend wakes up and says its all over? Ya if you know what i am talking about that exactly what happened to me. Came like a shock which i am still to accept.

Human emotions can be pretty weird. They surprise you all the  time. I still wonder in  my numerous sleepless nights  ” How can the love be  over?  How  can you  just get over a person one fine day? “. She said it was since quite some time. But i disagree. I am not saying i was a perfect saint in a relationship. We used to have regular fights. But this was different. Suddenly i saw so much hatred in her which i have never seen in my life.

We have had some absolutely fabulous time as near as 3  months ago when we went biking for over 800 km in the ratnagiri ghats of Maharashtra. It was nice. She had some issues with my habits like smoking and drinking. I promised her i will cut down. and i did. I  quit drinking and cut down heavily on smoking. Any heavy smoker will agree you cant let it go immediately. I wanted to change and i did change. But she  refused to acknowledge any thing has changed. Weird hmmm..

I was so used to her ” good morning honey.. ” call every morning. and now today when i called up it was ” Dont bother me fucker”. How can possibly someone hate me so much. I was committed to her. I stopped talking or hanging out with many of my friends(girls) because she was insecure. And now she says this. Pretty interesting.

I always believed it takes more than just love for a relationship to survive.  I wonder how many girls and guys are out there who have woken up to hear the dreaded sentence ” Its all over honey” ?

Beats me. There is no one else in her life. Its just me and her. And now she hates me. I can feel the hatred in her voice. The day she said it was over, she fell sick . I was totally miserable and hurt with the things she had said earlier in the day. I saw her. She wasn’t well. I spent three sleepless nights taking care of her. I never slept a wink.  Nothing changed in her mind.

Once she got well it was again the same thing.

“Please fuck off from my life”

But i do feel good about the fact that i was there when she needed me.

Its very disturbing. Things fell apart right when i was looking to settle down. This leaves me with a feeling of distrust. I feel cheated out of four years of my life that i spent with her. I feel like hating her. But i cant because i still love her. Gotta get over this habit of loving her. It was just not worth it.

Peace.